Branching into the World of Fabric...

When I was young, my mother was an avid seamstress. I was constantly showered with handmade stuffed animals, unique dresses, and elaborate Halloween costumes that seemed to appear out of thin air. It was magic to a little girl. Even as I grew up, I would look in intimidated wonder at the complex tissue patterns, tools, and fabric cuts. It seemed like alchemy to an impatient young woman. Impossibly complex, mindbendingly foreign and seeming anything but fun, it was a language I could admire but would never want to learn.

Now that I have a son, the memories of those homemade gifts have actually prompted me to wonder if hell has officially frozen over. I am attempting the blasted alchemy. As his first birthday approaches, I have suddenly been filled with this desperate need to somehow embody this overwhelming love I feel for that amazing little boy in an appropriate gift. Instantly I was reminded of the soft book I had as a child. It was one of my favorite toys in my early years. Filled with buttons and zippers, flaps and snaps, it was very precious to me. But it was sewn. Oh crap. The dreaded sewing. 

So I am sewing. Oh and of course I couldn't be happy with time-tested established patterns. I just couldn't make Skyler a book that's already been made and save myself the trial and error process of an already new and intimidating learning experience. No... I am not that person. I am never happy until I am pulling out my hair and cursing the art in front of me.

For those of you that don't know me.... I am not that artist walking around with the bemused expression, exuding love and peace in light of my commune with art. I am not an artist by choice. I am an artist tortured by the need to create (usually far above my skill level)...all the while hating the process.... until it's over and there's suddenly a new little wonder in the world. Its akin to birth...(actually I think having Skyler was easier and more pleasant). I am the artist that exudes tension, energy, quirkiness...but in the end...I wouldn't want it any other way.

Anyway.... back to the sewing... ugh. So I ambitiously worked up six pages so far in Illustrator using the prints for patterns and I have begun. I have to admit that it's been somewhat fun....and for me that's something. All the years of watching my mother helped me learn a bit of the language a little faster than I think it normally would but it's still full of start overs and missteps. I have cursed a little and pulled out a little hair but for the most part... it's been interesting to take a detour from my usual painting. 

So here is my first page. It's the button page. The little girl's dress opens to reveal her stitched heart. It definitely came out much better than I should have had a right to hope for with my lack of skill. Of course, my inner critic could tear it apart but it seems surprisingly easy to ignore her when it comes to sewing. I wonder if that's because I never even considered it. This is play. It might also be that this is for Sky... and I know that he will only care that it's bright, fun, full of surprises, and texture. It might be that I'm just a little proud of myself and the little girl who finally learned a little magic.

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