No pic... just pain.

Carpal Tunnel Syndrome.

It has been the bane of my existence since the birth of my wonderful son. In the final months of pregnancy, it's painful tentacles crept into my arms and wrists so severely that it effectively shut down the process of creating his nursery mural. For months after, it would tingle and stiffen at random inconvenient times but then it seemed to be slowly disappearing into the annoying void from whence it came... I was finally free. But then again...

It's baaaaaccccckkkk (insert little girl's voice from poltergeist here).

I suddenly was struck with a horrible bout of pain in my neck and shoulder last week. Just in time for my birthday, it was a "gift" to remind me that I was truly getting older. It has lasted a week... well, at least the pain did... but even now it still feels like I have tight rubber bands around my wrist making even typing a bit like swallowing with a sore throat. I think if there really was a hell for artists... it would be an eternal bout with this stuff.

On the plus side, I have to say that the forced break has made my heart grow fonder. I have been marinating for the past week, throwing around ideas and sketches in my head... essentially going nuts with unused creativity. It's like being trapped in captivity. I am sooo going to tear into a painting as soon as this lightens up. Let's hope I don't go too crazy while I wait, not that anyone would notice the difference.

The Result... The Party and Aftermath.

So I am back after a week in my least favorite place in the world....Southern California. Paradise, my ass. It's just hot. And dry. And full of strip malls, concrete, and questionable ideals. Ironic that it should also be home to some of my dearest friends. The last vestige of humanity in a sea of frustrations.
I digress... ok, so the party....
I was not looking forward to the party. Almost a dozen loud kids packed into a house in California heat. Tons of attention with tons of pressure to not say or do the "wrong" thing. And a one year old to take care of.  Basically a chaotic blitzkrieg. It almost overshadowed my worry as to whether he would like the book.
But it went surprisingly well. It was kind of hellish on my nervous system, and I wasn't entirely thrilled with the attention, but it went on without a hitch and he liked the book. Loved the book. And so did everyone else. There really is no way to describe the feeling of unanimous praise after a month long effort. It is akin to the feeling I used to have standing on stage and taking a bow on the opening night of a show. It's the single greatest feeling an artist can experience.... the connection to others through one's work. And it made up for the screaming a bit.
I also "wow"ed them with my cake painting. To be fair, my mother made the cake... and it was yummy despite her  "it's too dry" campaign against it. But in the tradition started by my father, I painted the cake. Since my father's time at the brush, I have revised the technique... now instead of spreading icing around to simulate paint, I essentially "watercolor" it with food coloring. It's surprisingly effective and simple... I water down the gel colors, and then brush them over the icing gently, letting the color spread just like watercolor paint. It makes for a very vibrant result with realistic painting effects. Best of all, I can get an insane amount of detail. In this case, I recreated my giraffe from his invitation. Actually it came out looking like a younger version of the giraffe...a baby if you will, which suited the occasion perfectly.
Now truth be told, Skyler wouldn't even try the cake...his nervous system was as tapped as his mother's....but that was ok. This birthday really wasn't for him as I've said before in my posts. The one year old birthday party is for the adults. It's a celebration of him surviving the first year. It's a celebration of us surviving his first year. Hell, it's a celebration of us surviving the celebration. And most importantly, it's about friends and family.... I say this with an slightly sarcastic yet loving tone... that I still can't truly appreciate since my ears are still ringing.

Been there..DONE that... Hell Yeah!!!!

It is DONE!!!!!!
Oh my god! It's been forever. I feel like I have been working on this book for the past millenia. I think I can now be considered legally insane.

Unbelievably the final assembly process went relatively smooth... only taking me two days. That was after I had already cut the entire book out only to realize that I had bought stretch denim. That is a no no... makes everything ten times harder to cut, assemble and eventually will stretch out of all form. It's basically the work of the devil. So back to the dreaded Joann Fabrics. Round two of cutting went much faster (as all mistakes go) and so did sewing it all into a cohesive whole. And so now I feel odd. It's like this space in my head has opened and nothing is there to fill it. I am relieved that it's over but oddly sad that it's done.

Hopefully this marks a turning point in my self discipline. For years now, I have been a very hard but very scattered worker. Not that any boss would notice since I always make my deadlines. But time management has never been my forte. I have often, in the past, found myself creating a 100 hour project in the wee hours of the last night before a deadline...with no obvious ill effects but my own dissatisfaction. I can't help but acknowledge that although I can do miraculous amounts of work in a small amount of time, the work suffers. It is usually riddled with mistakes and that kills it for me. I want work that I can be truly proud of. Like this book.

I also want to stop the burn out cycle. Time and time again, I will work till I drop out of sheer exhaustion and frustration. Then follows a dry spell akin to Death Valley. I become repulsed by the thought of work. But this time is different. I am tired. Well worn. But I am already thinking of things I want to do next. And I still have the energy to blog...(although I am not quite as in the mood as usual). So this is a huge step for me.

Now comes the party... I am soooo excited to have him finally play with the book. I can't wait. It's been a month in the works and I am so happy that he will benefit from it. I am also kind of expecting that he will like the wrapping paper just as much but hopefully the book will outlast that initial enthusiasm. It would be my luck that I find him dragging the ragged scraps of wrapping a year from now, while the book lies thickly covered with dust in the corner. Oh what am I talking about... Trev will play with it enough to keep that from happening. Ah kids....