Another day, another experiment...

When I started painting for a living, I realized that I might be at a disadvantage with others who have been to art school. I have always been self taught and so my skills have been limited to those I choose to try. So in an effort to expand my repertoire and increase the likelihood of professional success, early on I began to experiment with self given artistic "assignments".

Funny enough, that early paranoia was kind of unwarranted. My brief stint as a hiring art director gave me a depressing glimpse into the sorely unoriginal world of the typical art student. I have never seen such boring and unimaginative work... full of used visual puns and borrowing heavily from blatant commercialism. And the assignments were identical from student to student and school to school. A cookie cutter way to create "art". My stuff might be self taught but at least it's original and constantly evolving...and I would like to think I will keep it that way.

This latest painting is a nod to modern impressionism. I rarely add abstract elements in my work and yet I've always liked the juxtaposition of realism and pattern. I decided that it was time to brush up on my looser, more-abstract techniques when this image burned itself into a dream the other night. I tried it out at my latest live painting. The reaction was mixed but positive. Kind of "Hell yeah!" mixed with "WTF!" I think people get a little thrown when I jump out of the box they try to fit me in. And I'm doing that a lot lately. I just don't want to get settled into a definitive style while there's so much I might want to add. Also the way this style works involves all the crazy abstract colors first before the trees... so I think people just thought I'd lost my mind and hadn't really worked out a painting until the end of the night. Then it got a lot of attention. 

The best part about these ventures into alternate techniques is that, regardless where it goes, it's guaranteed to affect all my other paintings for the better. A bigger arsenal is always better. And I like it. So that's something. In fact, I like this technique so much that I'm planning a series. With so much potential, I'm excited to see how they evolve from here. And on the plus side, they're fun as hell to paint. And isn't that what it's all about?

No pic... just pain.

Carpal Tunnel Syndrome.

It has been the bane of my existence since the birth of my wonderful son. In the final months of pregnancy, it's painful tentacles crept into my arms and wrists so severely that it effectively shut down the process of creating his nursery mural. For months after, it would tingle and stiffen at random inconvenient times but then it seemed to be slowly disappearing into the annoying void from whence it came... I was finally free. But then again...

It's baaaaaccccckkkk (insert little girl's voice from poltergeist here).

I suddenly was struck with a horrible bout of pain in my neck and shoulder last week. Just in time for my birthday, it was a "gift" to remind me that I was truly getting older. It has lasted a week... well, at least the pain did... but even now it still feels like I have tight rubber bands around my wrist making even typing a bit like swallowing with a sore throat. I think if there really was a hell for artists... it would be an eternal bout with this stuff.

On the plus side, I have to say that the forced break has made my heart grow fonder. I have been marinating for the past week, throwing around ideas and sketches in my head... essentially going nuts with unused creativity. It's like being trapped in captivity. I am sooo going to tear into a painting as soon as this lightens up. Let's hope I don't go too crazy while I wait, not that anyone would notice the difference.

The Result... The Party and Aftermath.

So I am back after a week in my least favorite place in the world....Southern California. Paradise, my ass. It's just hot. And dry. And full of strip malls, concrete, and questionable ideals. Ironic that it should also be home to some of my dearest friends. The last vestige of humanity in a sea of frustrations.
I digress... ok, so the party....
I was not looking forward to the party. Almost a dozen loud kids packed into a house in California heat. Tons of attention with tons of pressure to not say or do the "wrong" thing. And a one year old to take care of.  Basically a chaotic blitzkrieg. It almost overshadowed my worry as to whether he would like the book.
But it went surprisingly well. It was kind of hellish on my nervous system, and I wasn't entirely thrilled with the attention, but it went on without a hitch and he liked the book. Loved the book. And so did everyone else. There really is no way to describe the feeling of unanimous praise after a month long effort. It is akin to the feeling I used to have standing on stage and taking a bow on the opening night of a show. It's the single greatest feeling an artist can experience.... the connection to others through one's work. And it made up for the screaming a bit.
I also "wow"ed them with my cake painting. To be fair, my mother made the cake... and it was yummy despite her  "it's too dry" campaign against it. But in the tradition started by my father, I painted the cake. Since my father's time at the brush, I have revised the technique... now instead of spreading icing around to simulate paint, I essentially "watercolor" it with food coloring. It's surprisingly effective and simple... I water down the gel colors, and then brush them over the icing gently, letting the color spread just like watercolor paint. It makes for a very vibrant result with realistic painting effects. Best of all, I can get an insane amount of detail. In this case, I recreated my giraffe from his invitation. Actually it came out looking like a younger version of the giraffe...a baby if you will, which suited the occasion perfectly.
Now truth be told, Skyler wouldn't even try the cake...his nervous system was as tapped as his mother's....but that was ok. This birthday really wasn't for him as I've said before in my posts. The one year old birthday party is for the adults. It's a celebration of him surviving the first year. It's a celebration of us surviving his first year. Hell, it's a celebration of us surviving the celebration. And most importantly, it's about friends and family.... I say this with an slightly sarcastic yet loving tone... that I still can't truly appreciate since my ears are still ringing.

Been there..DONE that... Hell Yeah!!!!

It is DONE!!!!!!
Oh my god! It's been forever. I feel like I have been working on this book for the past millenia. I think I can now be considered legally insane.

Unbelievably the final assembly process went relatively smooth... only taking me two days. That was after I had already cut the entire book out only to realize that I had bought stretch denim. That is a no no... makes everything ten times harder to cut, assemble and eventually will stretch out of all form. It's basically the work of the devil. So back to the dreaded Joann Fabrics. Round two of cutting went much faster (as all mistakes go) and so did sewing it all into a cohesive whole. And so now I feel odd. It's like this space in my head has opened and nothing is there to fill it. I am relieved that it's over but oddly sad that it's done.

Hopefully this marks a turning point in my self discipline. For years now, I have been a very hard but very scattered worker. Not that any boss would notice since I always make my deadlines. But time management has never been my forte. I have often, in the past, found myself creating a 100 hour project in the wee hours of the last night before a deadline...with no obvious ill effects but my own dissatisfaction. I can't help but acknowledge that although I can do miraculous amounts of work in a small amount of time, the work suffers. It is usually riddled with mistakes and that kills it for me. I want work that I can be truly proud of. Like this book.

I also want to stop the burn out cycle. Time and time again, I will work till I drop out of sheer exhaustion and frustration. Then follows a dry spell akin to Death Valley. I become repulsed by the thought of work. But this time is different. I am tired. Well worn. But I am already thinking of things I want to do next. And I still have the energy to blog...(although I am not quite as in the mood as usual). So this is a huge step for me.

Now comes the party... I am soooo excited to have him finally play with the book. I can't wait. It's been a month in the works and I am so happy that he will benefit from it. I am also kind of expecting that he will like the wrapping paper just as much but hopefully the book will outlast that initial enthusiasm. It would be my luck that I find him dragging the ragged scraps of wrapping a year from now, while the book lies thickly covered with dust in the corner. Oh what am I talking about... Trev will play with it enough to keep that from happening. Ah kids....

Time to Face it.... the book is almost done!!!!

This is the face page of my book. By far the creepiest and most fun of all....even for grownups. Now let's hope it doesn't scare my kid. It's essentially a 2D version of Mr. Potato. As an educational buffet, this page will be a way to help Skyler understand emotional facial cues and vocabulary, teach the parts of the face and demonstrate how velcro works.  As a purely fun distraction, it's wicked weird and uber silly.

The page was essentially nothing very demanding after all the other pages.... just a series of appliques. But the challenge was making the little face pieces. They are all in vanilla colored denim with a fabric interface stiffener.... essentially stiff and puffy. The edges are satin stitched with heavy duty thread and then I painted them. I really was trying to avoid non-sewing methods... but this just demanded it. I could have spent the time trying to make the faces with stitches and applique but ultimately they would have been very simplistic. Not at all the weird fun I wanted to make. This illustrates a lesson I have long since learned in art... be flexible. Make a plan but be prepared to abandon it altogether when the art demands it.

 I think that principle guides my decisions as a parent as well. I try to plan the day for Skyler... so that he eats enough food, sleeps the right amount of time... plays a lot... but ultimately I let Sky determine how the plan actually turns out. I trust that he knows what's best for him. I realize that this goes against many parenting techniques but I truly think that my job is to help him be the best he can be.... just like my art. They both need my help to actualize but they inherently create their own destinies. I only hope to be wise enough to listen to and see them clearly so that I can provide the richest environment for that growth. And if I'm really wise, the art.. and Skyler will teach me something new in the process. I have to say that is the best part of this whole journey... the challenges, the obstacles, the learning. And it never ends. Kind of like this book. Now to finish putting it together... that will be a blog unto itself.

Who's house? Shoe's House... I said who's house? Shoe's house!!!

Another day gone, another page done! I am getting pretty fast at this. The latest piece is the Shoe House. In essence, it's a traditional lacing page but I thought it would be fun to give a nod to the nursery rhymes and give it that "lived in" look. It comes complete with a window, door, and extra thick lacing for little fingers. The door even holds a little surprise for the extra curious....

So it took a couple hours to cut, and three hours to piece together with Trevor (my loving husband) aiding in the rivet process. I work pretty late and so he graciously offered to run up our apartment complex driveway to hammer them on without annoying our neighbors. He is a saint... don't I know it.

And all that was done by 2 am.

So why the hell am I up at 6:40am writing this blog? Cause our little one has inherited his father's curly hair and button nose, my enthusiasm and insomnia. He woke up wide awake at 4am. And when I say awake, I mean it's as if he's been fed jet fuel. As I type, he is animatedly singing in the kitchen and I am sucking down caffeine.

Normally I wouldn't mind. I have the same enthusiasm and insomnia. In fact, I often wear him out rather than vice versa, but I think I have been tapping myself out a bit with all the sewing. I think today is going to be a day off. I am tired. Since I gave birth a year ago, I haven't quite been myself. Between hormones and learning to juggle Sky's needs with my own, I have had quite the difficulty finding any motivation for creativity at all and so I have been in quite the rut. Now with this project, inspiration has put me into overdrive and as always, I take everything as far as I can. But that same energy can burn me out and encourage mistakes.... so before I tank this incredibly important book, I shall say adieu for a day and relax... if this little wired one lets me.

I'm on a kaiser....Page 4!!! The zipper page.

It's a moon. I've mooned you. Punny, eh?

Ok, so I'm tired and silly. Whatcha going to do about it, eh? 


Today's blog is about the next page in the infamous baby book. Honestly, I thought it was going to be a couple days before I got this one done. It has a zipper... oooooh scary. Zippers are universally intimidating. They require a different sewing foot, they need to be semi invisible, and they need to work without that annoying thing where the fabric gets stuck in them. That and they can eat your fingers....well sometimes...that and other body parts...American Pie anyone? It's enough to make the whole sewing thing go downhill for me... but guess what? I did it... rather well as first zippers go. 


I even did some quilt patch-working on this page, with seams and everything. I am sewing mistress extraordinaire today.... and loopy as I'm sure you can tell (it's really easy to tell with me... my writing gets extra dots...like everything is one long sentence....he..heh...heheheh)

So the underlying twist of this rather tame looking page is that it's a zipper surprise. Under this sleepy moon, lies a passionate explosion of color... our friend the sun...


Now before I get twenty comments about how a separating zipper is difficult even for an adult...I've already tortured myself enough with that dilemma so don't bother... both Trevor and I are going to help Sky with this page... and we both figure he can benefit from the challenge eventually (he's really smart) and most of his sweaters have this type of zipper.


Ok, enough of my infantile defensiveness...I digress....


So once he pulls the fun little star (very secure with button thread), he can open the page to reveal the peek a boo celestial body. It's a simple concept but it utilizes the most sophisticated sewing techniques I've used to date. I am getting better at this whole thing...this educational book for Skyler is an excellent sewing class... I highly recommend it as a self training technique for beginners. That coupled with how-to's on the net and you have yourself a one way ticket to competence town. 

Another challenge met...I feel all powerful. Now off to caffeine town...care to join me?