Aero 1... the saga continues....

You would think by now I would stop being surprised by my inability to be consistent. That seems to be my signature in art... no signature at all. I can't tell you how many times I have tried to create several pieces of work at the same time only to have them look like they were painted by several hands and usually there is a sharp learning curve on each. And so Aero 1 was born.

I like it. 

I do.

But it's not the same as the other two. 

And I knew it going in. But I couldn't help myself.

I just couldn't.

'sigh'

Anyway... at least with this aberration I think I have figured out the way I will approach the next projects that might ensure a bit more consistency. 

It starts with the computer... the medium of choice for the modern illustrator. I've worked in illustration for years....(usually in a constant state of irritation that leads to violent fantasies of wanting to beat the so called art director with his or her own arm but that's beside the point) and I've picked up quite a love of Adobe. I find it uber-relaxing to create in Illustrator as it tends to inspire me into a visual poetry of a sort... a pairing down of the work into the most simplistic and elegant shapes. It turned out to be entirely necessary for the bubbles...who knew the little buggers would be such sticklers for perfection? So the sketch begins here with a simplifying of reality.

Then I took the time to work out the palette and gradient in Photoshop.

Then the fun began as I started to work out ways to make it interesting on the canvas.

I think that was what sold this whole technique for me. The marriage of planning and spontaneity.

Truth be told... I have an unnecessary fear of using the computer with painting. The man who calls himself my father is an artist too (the best one in the Midwest apparently, according to him, but that's beside the point) and he wholly relied on it for the better part of my childhood. I've always considered that the static, over-thought out work was a direct result of his computer usage. That alone has always scared me from relying on it too much. But I am starting to get over it. I will just try to find ways to keep the work fresh and spontaneous while adding a bit of structure. Turns out that it's the artist that creates the mediocrity... not the computer, who would have thought?

Anyway... I think this is the way I'm going to go from now on with this series. Illustrator will add a bit of consistency and discipline. Photoshop will help me suss out more interesting color and texture schemes.  And I will add the chaos in the painting process...my specialty. Maybe I might get a consistent series yet... maybe.... oh who knows... 'sigh'.

First Incendia 1...now Atlantis 1...the saga continues...

My Latest Painting- Atlantis 1

It's official... it's a series. Sniff... my first one. It's so cute. So full of potential. My palms are sweating at the potential failure. You see, a series is hard. A series demands a certain amount of consistency. I am not consistent. Not at all... Nope... not even a little bit. Anything that carries over from one painting to another is sheer subconscious or sheer luck depending on who's looking. But now I'm attempting it. It's nerve wracking. Crap. 

So...

My first attempt at this painting failed miserably ( at a live painting of course... more embarrassing that way) and my intention was to show the before and after of a failed first attempt. However I became overzealous with the gesso... and painted over it before I took a picture. So instead,  I thought I might give a tiny glimpse into my process... if that's what one can call it. At least the process I am trying to implement for this series... that word again... ick!

 It all starts with a sketch... well, this one did cause I screwed the first one up so well. That's when I bother to work out the kinks before wasting more time. I am the very epitome of discipline...

Next I fling random color onto the canvas...

Next is a layer of abstract glazes... this is supposed to have a water feel so I chose to create a feeling of bubbles... well actually, Trevor, my husband decided bubbles as I suddenly panicked at the thought of a series and couldn't figure out what to do next.... Panic is an integral part of all my processes.

Then the final step... the silhouettes. This was the problem the first time. Unlike trees, I was unfamiliar as to how to take on the underwater plants. They had to balance well and be different... a much more complex composition as opposed to Incendia 1( the tree one for all of you who don't remember names...not unlike the artist herself ). As you can see...I stayed pretty close to the sketch but of course things need to change in paint. The balance changes with color and sometimes the art just wants it different.

Now for all of you out there who just tuned in to my blog and have no idea what the first one looked like from my last blog...Or for those who just can't imagine the two together in a ...nope not going to say the word again...
 Here they are side by side... 

Now it's time to do one another. And another. And I think I am going to throw up now. Maybe that'll be the next series. "Artist with Weak Stomache 1-13"

Another day, another experiment...

When I started painting for a living, I realized that I might be at a disadvantage with others who have been to art school. I have always been self taught and so my skills have been limited to those I choose to try. So in an effort to expand my repertoire and increase the likelihood of professional success, early on I began to experiment with self given artistic "assignments".

Funny enough, that early paranoia was kind of unwarranted. My brief stint as a hiring art director gave me a depressing glimpse into the sorely unoriginal world of the typical art student. I have never seen such boring and unimaginative work... full of used visual puns and borrowing heavily from blatant commercialism. And the assignments were identical from student to student and school to school. A cookie cutter way to create "art". My stuff might be self taught but at least it's original and constantly evolving...and I would like to think I will keep it that way.

This latest painting is a nod to modern impressionism. I rarely add abstract elements in my work and yet I've always liked the juxtaposition of realism and pattern. I decided that it was time to brush up on my looser, more-abstract techniques when this image burned itself into a dream the other night. I tried it out at my latest live painting. The reaction was mixed but positive. Kind of "Hell yeah!" mixed with "WTF!" I think people get a little thrown when I jump out of the box they try to fit me in. And I'm doing that a lot lately. I just don't want to get settled into a definitive style while there's so much I might want to add. Also the way this style works involves all the crazy abstract colors first before the trees... so I think people just thought I'd lost my mind and hadn't really worked out a painting until the end of the night. Then it got a lot of attention. 

The best part about these ventures into alternate techniques is that, regardless where it goes, it's guaranteed to affect all my other paintings for the better. A bigger arsenal is always better. And I like it. So that's something. In fact, I like this technique so much that I'm planning a series. With so much potential, I'm excited to see how they evolve from here. And on the plus side, they're fun as hell to paint. And isn't that what it's all about?

No pic... just pain.

Carpal Tunnel Syndrome.

It has been the bane of my existence since the birth of my wonderful son. In the final months of pregnancy, it's painful tentacles crept into my arms and wrists so severely that it effectively shut down the process of creating his nursery mural. For months after, it would tingle and stiffen at random inconvenient times but then it seemed to be slowly disappearing into the annoying void from whence it came... I was finally free. But then again...

It's baaaaaccccckkkk (insert little girl's voice from poltergeist here).

I suddenly was struck with a horrible bout of pain in my neck and shoulder last week. Just in time for my birthday, it was a "gift" to remind me that I was truly getting older. It has lasted a week... well, at least the pain did... but even now it still feels like I have tight rubber bands around my wrist making even typing a bit like swallowing with a sore throat. I think if there really was a hell for artists... it would be an eternal bout with this stuff.

On the plus side, I have to say that the forced break has made my heart grow fonder. I have been marinating for the past week, throwing around ideas and sketches in my head... essentially going nuts with unused creativity. It's like being trapped in captivity. I am sooo going to tear into a painting as soon as this lightens up. Let's hope I don't go too crazy while I wait, not that anyone would notice the difference.

The Result... The Party and Aftermath.

So I am back after a week in my least favorite place in the world....Southern California. Paradise, my ass. It's just hot. And dry. And full of strip malls, concrete, and questionable ideals. Ironic that it should also be home to some of my dearest friends. The last vestige of humanity in a sea of frustrations.
I digress... ok, so the party....
I was not looking forward to the party. Almost a dozen loud kids packed into a house in California heat. Tons of attention with tons of pressure to not say or do the "wrong" thing. And a one year old to take care of.  Basically a chaotic blitzkrieg. It almost overshadowed my worry as to whether he would like the book.
But it went surprisingly well. It was kind of hellish on my nervous system, and I wasn't entirely thrilled with the attention, but it went on without a hitch and he liked the book. Loved the book. And so did everyone else. There really is no way to describe the feeling of unanimous praise after a month long effort. It is akin to the feeling I used to have standing on stage and taking a bow on the opening night of a show. It's the single greatest feeling an artist can experience.... the connection to others through one's work. And it made up for the screaming a bit.
I also "wow"ed them with my cake painting. To be fair, my mother made the cake... and it was yummy despite her  "it's too dry" campaign against it. But in the tradition started by my father, I painted the cake. Since my father's time at the brush, I have revised the technique... now instead of spreading icing around to simulate paint, I essentially "watercolor" it with food coloring. It's surprisingly effective and simple... I water down the gel colors, and then brush them over the icing gently, letting the color spread just like watercolor paint. It makes for a very vibrant result with realistic painting effects. Best of all, I can get an insane amount of detail. In this case, I recreated my giraffe from his invitation. Actually it came out looking like a younger version of the giraffe...a baby if you will, which suited the occasion perfectly.
Now truth be told, Skyler wouldn't even try the cake...his nervous system was as tapped as his mother's....but that was ok. This birthday really wasn't for him as I've said before in my posts. The one year old birthday party is for the adults. It's a celebration of him surviving the first year. It's a celebration of us surviving his first year. Hell, it's a celebration of us surviving the celebration. And most importantly, it's about friends and family.... I say this with an slightly sarcastic yet loving tone... that I still can't truly appreciate since my ears are still ringing.

Been there..DONE that... Hell Yeah!!!!

It is DONE!!!!!!
Oh my god! It's been forever. I feel like I have been working on this book for the past millenia. I think I can now be considered legally insane.

Unbelievably the final assembly process went relatively smooth... only taking me two days. That was after I had already cut the entire book out only to realize that I had bought stretch denim. That is a no no... makes everything ten times harder to cut, assemble and eventually will stretch out of all form. It's basically the work of the devil. So back to the dreaded Joann Fabrics. Round two of cutting went much faster (as all mistakes go) and so did sewing it all into a cohesive whole. And so now I feel odd. It's like this space in my head has opened and nothing is there to fill it. I am relieved that it's over but oddly sad that it's done.

Hopefully this marks a turning point in my self discipline. For years now, I have been a very hard but very scattered worker. Not that any boss would notice since I always make my deadlines. But time management has never been my forte. I have often, in the past, found myself creating a 100 hour project in the wee hours of the last night before a deadline...with no obvious ill effects but my own dissatisfaction. I can't help but acknowledge that although I can do miraculous amounts of work in a small amount of time, the work suffers. It is usually riddled with mistakes and that kills it for me. I want work that I can be truly proud of. Like this book.

I also want to stop the burn out cycle. Time and time again, I will work till I drop out of sheer exhaustion and frustration. Then follows a dry spell akin to Death Valley. I become repulsed by the thought of work. But this time is different. I am tired. Well worn. But I am already thinking of things I want to do next. And I still have the energy to blog...(although I am not quite as in the mood as usual). So this is a huge step for me.

Now comes the party... I am soooo excited to have him finally play with the book. I can't wait. It's been a month in the works and I am so happy that he will benefit from it. I am also kind of expecting that he will like the wrapping paper just as much but hopefully the book will outlast that initial enthusiasm. It would be my luck that I find him dragging the ragged scraps of wrapping a year from now, while the book lies thickly covered with dust in the corner. Oh what am I talking about... Trev will play with it enough to keep that from happening. Ah kids....

Time to Face it.... the book is almost done!!!!

This is the face page of my book. By far the creepiest and most fun of all....even for grownups. Now let's hope it doesn't scare my kid. It's essentially a 2D version of Mr. Potato. As an educational buffet, this page will be a way to help Skyler understand emotional facial cues and vocabulary, teach the parts of the face and demonstrate how velcro works.  As a purely fun distraction, it's wicked weird and uber silly.

The page was essentially nothing very demanding after all the other pages.... just a series of appliques. But the challenge was making the little face pieces. They are all in vanilla colored denim with a fabric interface stiffener.... essentially stiff and puffy. The edges are satin stitched with heavy duty thread and then I painted them. I really was trying to avoid non-sewing methods... but this just demanded it. I could have spent the time trying to make the faces with stitches and applique but ultimately they would have been very simplistic. Not at all the weird fun I wanted to make. This illustrates a lesson I have long since learned in art... be flexible. Make a plan but be prepared to abandon it altogether when the art demands it.

 I think that principle guides my decisions as a parent as well. I try to plan the day for Skyler... so that he eats enough food, sleeps the right amount of time... plays a lot... but ultimately I let Sky determine how the plan actually turns out. I trust that he knows what's best for him. I realize that this goes against many parenting techniques but I truly think that my job is to help him be the best he can be.... just like my art. They both need my help to actualize but they inherently create their own destinies. I only hope to be wise enough to listen to and see them clearly so that I can provide the richest environment for that growth. And if I'm really wise, the art.. and Skyler will teach me something new in the process. I have to say that is the best part of this whole journey... the challenges, the obstacles, the learning. And it never ends. Kind of like this book. Now to finish putting it together... that will be a blog unto itself.